I wanted to write this text while incarcerated, but that was not possible.  Granted, I could have written it longhand, which I did somewhat in the form of notes - but in prison, just getting pen and paper was a challenge.  I prefer writing to a computer file, so had to wait until free - to do so.  Writing the memoir meant re-visiting many of the scenarios which I'm endeavoring to forget.  

The following text tells the true story of getting busted in northern Thailand, along with my lady friend, Lwin.  I didn't have a family to speak of, so I wasn't mentally burdened with worrying about children and so on.  Lwin did have that travail and she cried herself to sleep every night behind bars.  What started as a chronicle of Lwin and my dire predicaments - soon became a bigger bowl of soup.  

Within the following text, the case will be made that Thailand's DSI (their version of US's FBI) plus America's DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) are wrapped up with what I call right-wing Christians (RWC) and Thai police ..... to ruin lives and destroy families.  I realize it sounds like a conspiracy theory conjured up by a nutcase, ....but much thought, plus research & facts have gone toward the conclusions articulated in the following text.  At the risk of sounding defensive, I'll submit I'm not a conspiracy-theory type of guy.  For examples: I don't believe there was US federal involvement in the 9-11 attacks, I don't believe in the Loch Ness monster or that crop circles were made by extra-terrestrials - though I am looking forward to the day a jokester makes a crop circle with the Nike logo or MacDonald's golden Arches.  

Bear with how the stories unfold, and you may come to see how it's quite likely that DEA and Thai authorities are working together to create a drug problem that would not exist if cool heads prevailed - or if there wasn't such a lust for money by Thai officials, fueled by the multi-billion dollar deep pockets of the DEA.  Besides drug issues, there are issues revolving around human trafficking.  The text will also show how RWC groups, the richest NGO's in the world, are barking up the wrong trees.  In their zeal to impose their moral codes on the rest of world, they're using their multi-billions + flawed information - to ruin lives and wreck families.  

The institutions mentioned in this text have been contacted - to give them the option to respond with their descriptions of what they're doing overseas, and how much they're spending.  Not surprisingly, they haven't responded with any specific info, even though three of the institutions (US's DEA and Thailand's DSI and RTP) are taxpayer funded and such info should be available to ordinary people.  

A major part of their operations are clandestine.  Like slime, they abhor sunshine - particularly if it sheds light on their operations.  Many countries have historically had special police and the more oppressive their operations, the more secretive they need to be.  Some examples:  Germany's Gestapo (from the 1940's), Iran's Savak, East Germany's Stazi, USSR's KGB, America's CIA, and Israel's Mossad, to name a few.  How similar is Thailand's DSI?  They're small potatoes, comparatively.  

The following text also exposes religion in ways that will surely rile deists.  Why target religion?  The simple answer: Because some of their agents spread harm around the world.  If religions kept to enforcing moral codes for their flocks, then their harmful manifestations would not be so dire.  

If Christianity is mainly God-worship plus Jesus worship mixed with fear/love of God and promises of living forever in heaven, .....how can religion be harmful?  I submit: though many deists are fine folks, particularly when they adhere to principles of good moral conduct, .....there are a plethora of right wing religionists (dare we call them 'Bible Thumpers'?) who unwittingly cause harm to individuals and families worldwide.  With billion-dollar war-chests greasing the gears, their harm-causing crusades are quite effective.  

I consider myself an environmentalist at heart.  I don't mind being called 'a tree hugger' though 'a rock hugger' would be more accurate because I love climbing rocks.  If given a choice I would rather espouse on issues relating to destruction of nature and the burdens of human overpopulation - and what folks can do to make things better.  The out-of-the-blue sting/bust in May 2018 compelled me to point my focus in other directions.

Thumbnail summary: what started as a text describing unfair imprisonment of two individuals in Thailand, ballooned into revelations concerning several institutions based in the US and Thailand, which are creating misery for hundreds of thousands of decent people.  What can ordinary people do to lessen the onslaught of harm perpetuated by mega-rich institutions funded by taxpayers and alms-givers?

Not long ago Burma (Myanmar) was controlled by military brass who were getting rich in the martial equation.  For that reason, a portion of western would-be tourists chose to not go to Burma to spend tourist dollars.  Now Burma is somewhat democratic, so their tourist industry is not as anemic as it was earlier.  How different is Burma's eastern neighbor?  Thailand has had unelected military men controlling the Thai government for most of this century.  Each time they put themselves in the top spots, the generals take off their medal-bedecked shirts and put on handsome silk shirts and act as if they've never been military - but instead have always been compassionate men who care about the welfare of all Thais.  As part of their martial control, Thai generals have had a part in placing tens of thousands of inmates in prisons - most for victimless offenses.  

Note, I don't say 'victimless crimes' because there is no real crime involved in most of the cases referred to.  Instead I use the term 'victimless offense.'  What is that?  Answer: any action in which no person, property or animal is harmed.  A woman who is angry at her husband can clandestinely slip a ya-ba (speed) pill in his pocket - and then call police to arrest him.  He's put behind bars for 20 years.  It may sound absurd, but such things happen more often than authorities care to admit.  A young man buys a carton of cigarettes with the idea to sell them for a slight profit in another town.  He's busted and slammed in prison for 8 years.  Another young man is caught with half a speed pill in his pocket - first offense.  He is imprisoned for 23 years.  Such stories are not anomalies.

Thais in general and top authorities in particular fancy themselves as devout Buddhists.  The basic tenet of Buddhism defines suffering and then articulates how to lessen suffering for one and all.  If a Thai authority spends his waking hours creating undue suffering for others, is he a good Buddhist?

 1.  The Story Begins Here

We were gaily strolling hand in hand along the sidewalk.  It was a mild evening, May 6, 2018.  Location: northernmost Thailand, at a small border town called Mae Sai.  

I asked Lwin if she would like to go together with me to visit Hong Kong.  I’d been to HK several times, both before and after the handover by Britain, so I knew it was an enjoyable place for lovers to visit.  She agreed to go, and followed up with singing the pop song ‘Pretty Pretty Boy I Love You’ while sporadically turning and grinning at me.  For a 66 year old guy to be serenaded by a beautiful Burmese lady near half his age - was sweet indeed.  All of a sudden we were surrounded by a mob of men.  They wore dark street clothes and were physically threatening.  They strong-armed us over to sidewalk vendors’ tables, and cleared the tops.  Lwin and I were aghast.  While I was being held firmly by two tough guys, an alpha yelled at me, “give me your wallet!”  Though he looked Thai, he spoke English like a New Yorker.  

I resisted and called out, ‘who are you?  Are you robbing us – in front of all these onlookers?’

He shouted again in my face; “Give me your wallet.  Put it on the table.  We’re police.”

I responded, “How do I know you’re police?  Show me some ID.”  He waved some little piece of paper in my face.

It reminded me of the time, 18 years earlier, when I was accosted by eight plainclothes men, also dressed in black and acting thuggish.  It was in Chiang Rai, my adopted home since 1998.  It was mid-afternoon on an otherwise lovely warm day.  I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt.  I found out hours later that the Thai buttplugs were DSI – Bangkok’s copy of America’s FBI.  At that time, nearly 2 decades prior, the pseudo cops were shaking me down for no reason – and it took 2 hours of me getting harassed - before they let me go with no charges filed.  They were hoping to get me on a passport/visa problem, but later found I was 100% legal.  I had to call the Tourist Police to come and rescue me from the DSI goons who were out on a fishing expedition.

Back to present time: My wallet was forced from my pocket and placed on a vendor’s table.  I was still being held by two punks while a third was yelling questions at my face.  Surrounding Lwin and I were about 16 other tough guys.  Circled around them were 100 local folks looking to see what was happening to the elder farang (Thai word for ‘foreigner’) and his brown-skinned lady friend.  Many of the vendors likely knew us, because we were also locals – who frequented this locale and often interacted cheerily with them.

The DSI agents were now rifling through my wallet.  They did the same with Lwin's -  Putting our money bills out on the table, and comparing the individual serial numbers of each bill with a photocopy of money bills.

‘Oh Jeez, are they trying to bust us for having counterfeit money?’  I honestly thought that was their aim.  It wasn’t until 15 long minutes later that I realized they were trying to bust us on a different charge.

Some reference:  I dabble as a tour guide.  I’ll give some background describing my gig – in order to give reference to the episode mentioned above.  Then I’ll return to that awful night in Mae Sai when Lwin and I were falsely accused of human trafficking.

I moved from northern California to reside in northern Thailand in 1998.  I am low-income but was able to secure two rural properties.  Initially, each property was covered in weeds and trees.  After much investment, and a lot of paid assistance from local workers, the properties blossomed into park-like spaces with several houses on each.  Probably the most useful thing I’ve done in those busy 20 years was develop better variations of fruit.  Specifically: seedless pink grapefruit and avocado.  Both have excellent taste and are acclimated to northern Thailand.  

It started when I planted 64 seeds of each type of tree.  If you talk with an experienced orchardist, he’ll probably tell you it’s crazy to grow fruit trees from seed.  He would likely go on to say it’s best to grow grafted fruit trees.  I agree, but was in a unique situation.  At the time, avocado trees were not available in Thai nurseries.  Indeed, most Thais don’t know what an avocado is.  Of the comparative few who are familiar with avos, about half don’t like to eat them.  That contrasts with nearby Burmese folks who know about and like avos.  As for grapefruit: they’re not found for sale in Thailand – not even in grocery stores which cater to farang - which ordinarily have many fruits and edibles which are rarely found (if at all) in common Thai food outlets.  Unless a Thai has traveled overseas, he/she won’t be familiar with grapefruit.  

After tending to the many trees grown from seed, I was rewarded with fruit.  All the trees were genetically unique because they were grown from seed.  Most of the avo and grapefruit trees gave fruit of quality which ranged from good to not-so-good.  However, there was one grapefruit and one avocado tree which each yielded exceptional fruit.  They were my #1 trees.  There were a few #2 trees also – which had very good tasting fruit, but not as sublime as the number one trees.  

At the time of my arrest on May 2018, I was getting ready to cull (cut down) all the trees which weren’t #1 or #2 quality.  That’s akin to what Luther Burbank did.  He moved to California in the early 20th century with a uniquely large potato which he had grown from seed.  Potato seed is as rare as hen’s teeth.  Later, he went on to grow a variety of fruit trees from seed.  After waiting many years, he was able to gauge which trees were best of its kind.  He then killed all the other trees of that type.  He didn’t sell or give away the #2 trees.  Burbank then went and propagated the #1 trees – and that’s where many of our favorite fruit types come from.

The plan for the #1 grapefruit and #1 avocado trees was similar: to propagate them and give baby trees to hill tribers for free.  Propagating grapefruit is relatively easy, whereas making baby avo trees was proving difficult.  I was in the process of trying to find a local person who could assist me with that.  As with everyone who assists me in my endeavors, that person would be paid fairly.  

Another of the several gigs I was involved with was: starting and managing a rock climbing and adventure park.  Just 7 minute drive from downtown Chiang Rai, Thailand,  it was called Boomerang – due to the shape of its 1.6 acres (4 rai) if viewed from above.  It operated from 2008 thru 2015.  It was the only rock-climbing venue north of Chiang Mai.  We had dozens of ‘top-rope’ routes interspersed along the array of beautiful limestone rock.  Thousands of visitors had wonderful and safe experiences there.  We also had 4 zip lines, up to 180 meters – which started on platforms built in to the rock walls – and ended in a grassy field.  Added to that, we had a cable swing billed as ‘the biggest swing in Asia.’

After selling the rock-climbing adventure park, I had some added time, so I opted to be a one-on-one guide to the nearby Burmese border town.

Back to arrests in May 2018:  Lwin and I had our money taken and were strong-armed up to a room – still surrounded by nearly two dozen black-clad thugs who claimed they were with Bangkok’s DSI.  We also had our mobile phones taken.  While in the room, Lwin started to babble, saying repeatedly, “I no boom-boom Ken.  I never boom-boom him.”

That was/is true.  Though Lwin and I had been dear friends for several years, we had never gotten physical with each other.  We did not 'know' each other in the Biblical sense.  She was repeating her plea – in the presence of the plain-clothes cops, because she thought we were being accosted/busted for having sex together.  I gently told her she was on the wrong track – and that the thugs were not busting us for having sex.  Even months later, she still didn’t quite get the real reason we were being busted.

It was a sting operation.  I was the target.  Lwin was peripheral damage.  A faction of DSI; 20 black-clad Thai agents from Bangkok, were commandeered by 4 farang (foreign) men.  Two dozen operatives went from Bangkok to Mai Sai with one goal in mind: to bust me.  It was obvious who was running the show.  It’s never difficult to pick out the alpha males in a group of men.  How the farang co-opted 20 DSI agents and who knows how many supportive DSI members back at their Bangkok HQ – is open to speculation.

They had a collaborator named Jordan.  He was a Malaysian who had just become Thai when I met him.  We met several weeks before the bust.  He must have been hired by the sting operators to lay some groundwork.  He was a client of mine as regards the guide service I provided.  He fully indulged in the delights of the border town red light district, as I dutifully waited outside on a bench.  We got along rather well.  He even had me get on the phone to talk to his infant adopted (legally?) daughter who was in Bangkok.  There were several reasons which led me to deduce he was in on the sting:

>>>  He was the only client who had visited my property near Chiang Rai.  He had expressed an interest in buying the property.  I saw him taking a GPS reading at my house, but didn't put one and one together until after the bust.  The day after my bust, DSI went to my house using GPS readings which they could only have garnered from Jordan.  As outlined later in this text, DSI broke into my house illegally and stole items valued at roughly Bt.122k (us$4,000).  

>>>  Jordan phoned me, two weeks after his tour and tried to get me to help him bring a young woman over the border illegally.  I said I couldn't help him with that.  It was his attempt to set up a sting against me, but it didn't gel.

A few weeks later, I was waylaid by the two farang undercover buttplugs (associates of Jordan) in Mae Sai.  They wanted to bust me for human trafficking and involving under-age girls in soliciting sex.  They got neither, so they inverted their disappointment toward trumping up charges.  Lwin was a cherry on the top of their sting operation.  They didn’t expect a 2nd person to be involved but they were glad she showed up to be arrested.  It fit with their (the farang who control DSI) unwritten goal of ruining lives of those who don't adhere to their God-fearing moral code.  

DSI is above the law.  Only the PM’s people and the Royal family out-rank them.  In the same vein, DSI will not go after Thai VIP – for obvious reasons.  DSI also trumps the police, the courts, and Immigration Dept.  

After an hour at the room above the Thai Immigration (Imm) cubicle on the Thai side of the ‘Friendship Bridge’ Lwin and I were taken to the nearby Mae Sai police station.  A short while later, the two working women showed up, and Lwin instinctively ran to them and all three wailed and cried for minutes – while hugging each other.  

Let’s back up about 2.5 hours, so the scenario can be more readily understood.  At 5:20 pm, I met two farang at the Chiang Rai airport.  For weeks prior to that meet, I had an email correspondence with one.  He had responded to a small notice I had placed on the internet.  Or perhaps he had responded to an ad which a friend of mine (Frankie, now deceased), had put on Facebook several years earlier.  This tidbit is significant, because it fueled the craving, by the farang undercover cops, to bust me.  

Frankie had been fixing computer glitches on and off and we’d become friends.  When he heard I did guiding trips to the Burmese border town (Tachilek) by Mae Sai, he said he could help get added clients.  I said ‘ok, do whatever, dude.’  He went and loaded a site on Facebook – for my little one-on-one guide service.  When he showed it to me, I was unamused.  Its title was; “Burmese Border Chicks for Hire.”  I don’t think it brought any interested parties to my notice – particularly because its contact info was incorrect.  I tried to delete the page but was unable.  Frankie died months later in Bangkok. He was 52.  So access to that web site died with him.

The responses to my guide service were garnered from a simple Craigslist ad with the title; ‘Guide to Burmese Border Town for Hire.’  For a number of years prior to placing that ad, I would visit Tachilek solo.  I called it ‘my 24 hour vacation’ from Thailand.  I preferred being in Burma for a variety of reasons.  To name a few; the people were more ‘real,’ and less ‘put-on.’  If you meet 20 Burmese people, you’ll likely interact with 20 diverse personalities.  If you meet 20 Thai folks, you’re apt to interact with one type of personality, because Thais are programmed to think alike.  Burmese read books.  

Thais are rarely seen reading books, unless it’s a comic or a study book for school.  Another variance:  Burmese interact with each other in their neighborhoods.  One time I got to the border crossing 2 minutes late.  There were 3 women and one male officer just about to leave.  The man was open to processing (takes 2 minutes) and stamping my passport for the crossing.  The women were not, so you can guess who dominated.

I spent the night at a cheap hotel in Mae Sai, but strolled around the town for 1.5 hours after sundown.  I saw about a dozen stragglers during the walk.  Just 200 meters away, across the small river in Burma, hundreds of locals were milling around at those same hours. They gossip, joke, and converse.  All ages.  It’s akin to how small cities vibrated dozens/hundreds of years ago.  People like to interact in the cool hours after sundown.  In Thailand, it seems as though everyone is inside – mostly watching TV, playing computer, or youngsters glued to their hand-held devices.

When I would go to Burma for my 24 hour vacation, I would visit temples (one has 365 roof faces, and the largest gong this side of the Mississippi), visit the small red-light district, relax at tea houses (the snacks are better tasting and cheaper that those found in Thailand), and go trekking solo.  The long hikes were particularly enjoyable.  A person can walk on paths through the hills for hours and not see another person, nor see or hear a vehicle, nor see a house, wall, fence, or electric line.

So I thought to turn other middle aged farang on to what I was experiencing at the Burmese border town.  They could pay a fee – which would cover my expenses plus a bit left over.  Win-win for all involved.  DSI agents, after combing through my two computers, trying to dig as much dirt on me as possible – determined I had been a guide for 10 years – up until my arrest in the sting operation.  Perhaps so,  I don’t know, because I don’t keep records.  It was a very small operation.  I averaged one client every 8 to 10 weeks or so.  There’s a file in my email account titled; ‘already gone’ which has about 13 names.  13 clients in 10 years ….go figure.  

Obviously, I was not furrowing away bunches of 1,000 baht notes.  Yet, the day after DSI busted me, they broke into my house in Chiang Rai (I had built and resided in for 19 years) and stole Bt.45,000 (us$1500).  That cash was hidden away in a mason jar - not hidden well-enough apparently.  I use the word ‘stole’ rather than ‘confiscated’ because I knew they would never return money they found – either within my wallet or anywhere else.  Money taken from farang by Thai authorities suffers the ratchet affect: they get it, they don’t return it.  DSI claims the $1500 they found in my house was ‘revenue garnered by my guiding service.’  Ridiculous.  It was money I got from selling a beat up 2nd hand pick-up truck.  It will never get returned to me.

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copyright 2020 by Ken Albertsen and Adventure1 Publications